you suck as a boyfriend...the only time you pay attention to me is when other people are not around or when im upset or you need someone to comfort you and make you feel loved.....i dont think i want to be in a relationship like this.....it sucks a lot....i dont know how i would be able to say something like that to you tho cuz i would be worried that you would freak out and become majorly depressed.....and then i would blame myself....so like the other times ive wanted to break up with you i wont....i always think that well he is so nice  and loving when we are alone so ya know everythings okay.....but i want to not be ignored when other people are around....i want to feel included....which is something i never really have felt....ive always felt ive been at the recieving end for some horrible joke....or that people are talking to me to make me think they like me and then when i leave they laugh at me....so i just dont put myself in social situations....i leave or i just dont go or i go and im miserable and wish i hadnt....the last time that i really felt included was when meghan lived here....then she moved and things changed...or when i would hang out with adam....but ne way for now ill just keep silent like i always do....

Currently Reading Catch 22 By Joseph Heller see related

ok so it's a new year

hope everyone is ready for it cause its already here

I didnt make any resolutions this year
maybe i should have but i never do what i say so whats the point right?

well ne who
not much going on
got finals in school next week
going to miss a few classes
some i cant wait to get out of.....

started going to dance all the time again

got play practice now too.....
thats no fun
hoping to get kicked out...
planning on missing any rehersals that are the same time as dance.....

good luck to the girls bowling team 2moro at the match
JV has been rocking this year
miss you guys

ok i gotta pee so thats it for now!!!
so go find something better to do than read this site cuz it sucks

ok...so yesterday was my one year anniversary with marc....amazing we lasted that long....but im glad....

today i went shopping with my mother at the mall it was fun...
we bought dirty dancing havana nights and it was sooooo good...the dancing was amazing!!  i wanna learn to dance like that...i always have...i think i might see about a latin class or something...i will have to see about that....ne who...

marc is away this week with his family and my sister is in massachussetes with adam for a few days....

i think that im going to see what margie is doing the rest of the week....or somebody cuz otehrwise ill be pretty bored...well i mean i have summer reading i could be doing ands really should be b/c starting the week of the 28th i have to work in point for 2 weeks....and that i think is from like 8 am till im not actually sure....but whatever....so umm...yea....

hope everyone is enjoying there summer

so i was talking to marc last night on the phone and the convo didnt end well...he got me really pissed off and now im mad at him....so i havent talked to him 2day since i went to New York for a family thing...but he is online and trying to talk to me but im not really in the mood to talk to him...still kinda ticked...he wants to hang out and i suppose i should so i can talk to him and get things straightened out and what not....but i dunno....

but ne who...
2moro my daddy said he would teach me how to drive stick shift and then im going to go hang out with margie and lindsey at lindseys house and then i have work from 6 till 10....and i also gotta find time to go to the rag shop and get some stuff for crafts for the little kids on monday

so about half the summer has passed....

details of this missing time is as follows:
Monday thru Thursday...dance camp till1
Monday and Tuesday....dance classes....4:30 till 7
work at random times throughout days
see Marc about everyday
Try to find something interesting to do....

what a waste of space I am turning out to be...
I meant to start working out with Pat everyother day....
that hasnt happened...went once....

Saw Margie yesterday
that was cool...hadnt seen her in forever...we were supposed to go to a play but it got rained out....so we went to the mall instead....then couldnt think of ne thing to do...

went to the monmouth county fair tonight
that was fun....didnt really do much there....saw a lumberjack competition....that was neat....ate some funnel cake

erin called....i think im gonna see if she and margie wanna go see a movie on wed. when i am supposed to hang out with margie after she gets her school pic taken....

so yea thats about it...
o and for about the first two weeks of summer i was mr.w slave at school....but it was fun....got to learn lots and do something productive with my time